5 Ways To Increase Your Self Love Routine

Written By: M.K.  | December 13, 2017

Since, self-love is not simply a state of feeling good.

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.

 Like most skills, self love can be practiced and mastered. it can be strengthened by creating routines. Here are five self love exercises to incorporate into your weekly routine: 

1. Remove the clutter from your life. This includes physical, emotional, and interpersonal clutter which only serves to detract you from focusing on your personal growth. Self-care and self-love require the space and energy to expand yourself, improve yourself and to reach higher levels of spiritual and psychological well-being. You can’t achieve this by allowing unnecessary excess in your life. Clean the physical spaces where you live, because physical clutter can affect your mindset every day. An organized, tidy living space can do wonders for your mood and help you to complete tasks more quickly because everything has its place. Cut the toxic interactions with people you don’t need in your life which are only bringing you down. Stop allowing negative people to take up the space in your mind, heart and soul – they don’t belong there and the ruminations you’re engaging in over them are virtually useless. Refine your to-do list – stop trying to do a million things every day and instead, prioritize the main tasks which are most important to you and closest to what you value in life. Remember, quality beats quantity when it comes to self-care, so invest only in relationships and friendships that make you happier, pursue only the goals that are true to your deepest desires, and save your energy and talent for those worthy of you.. 

2. Listen to yourself. Sit quietly and allow your mind space to know itself.  Listen to what pops up in the stillness. If you pay attention without judgement, truths emerge. Make room for those truths, the same way you would if you were listening to a loved one. Let what you learn inform the way you understand yourself and move you toward greater self-acceptance.

3. Be mindful. Many of us go through life mindlessly and this detracts from our experience of present joy. This mindlessness is exacerbated by our fast-paced, technologically advanced society. We are so absorbed in social media and the buzz of our phone that we forget to appreciate the everyday, simple pleasures that come our way. The color of the sky, the beauty of someone’s smile, the colorful and delicious food in front of us – these are all things we should be mindfully enjoying. Being attentive, aware and alert to our surroundings and the present moment is vital to experiencing each moment of life more fully and enhancing its joy. So make sure to take at least a couple of hours each day where you release yourself from the distractions of technology and enjoy nature, be engaged with whomever you’re with, and immerse yourself in the conversation you’re having. If you need help in doing this, start writing in a journal about the various things you observed during the day and how attentive you were to them. It takes practice to be more mindful in everyday life, but it’s a worthy practice since it greatly enhances your experience of life’s everyday moments.

4. Set Boundaries. You'll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.

5. Pursue Your True Passions. Life is too short to waste your energy and allocate resources into goals that are not truly your own. Caring for ourselves means remaining authentic and recognizing our true passions. Don’t be pressured into picking a certain career path just because society says it’s the right one for you; don’t always settle for crappy jobs just because they’ll pay the rent; don’t pursue a major just because of its financial rewards unless it’s something that really interests you. Sometimes you will have to make do with what you have in order to survive, but be sure you’re still looking for ways to improve yourself and progress to something better and something that represents your true calling. For example, if you’re a waiter who dreams of writing the next big screenplay, continue working on it when you have the time. Setting aside time to pursue your dreams is important because these are things no one can take away from you. You own the right to all of your dreams and the ability to make them come to life.

The key is to still be practical, but also to be passionate. You were not meant to live this life doing just what is required to survive; you were meant to live life chasing your dreams. Don’t be afraid of failure, because failure is a learning experience that will strengthen you and prepare you to do better in the future. Would you rather sit around and live in the regret of not knowing what would’ve happened if you had tried, or would you rather lead an exciting life by taking on risks and challenges that will ultimately lead you to what you were meant to do?

It’s okay to explore multiple interests and talents; you don’t have to limit yourself to one pursuit. However, if you do have that one dream that’s been pulling at your heartstrings, start chasing it now. If you want to write a book, start by writing a blog or start writing the chapters to the book. If you want to go back to school, start looking up different programs. Take small steps today to start paving the path to tomorrow. Achieving long-term goals and big dreams are possible so long as you put the effort into making them happen. The most successful people I know are not just passive dreamers; they are active chasers who make an effort every day in order to accomplish their goals. 

If you are looking for more on self love check out my free workshop guide on loving yourself.